Wedding Checklist & Guide

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Various checklists and guides used to plan and organize a Wedding.

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Unless you regularly plan elaborate parties for 50 to 400 people, your wedding is likely the most detailed and complicated event you will ever organize. All but the most spartan of weddings requires intricate coordinating with a group of persons from family and friends to bakers and caterers and florists and much more.

The best way to maintain control—and your sanity—is clear communication. To that end, we highly recommend the use of checklists, not just for you and your fiancé, but for other members of the wedding party. What you need are separate checklists for everyone from the groomsmen to the maid of honor for the actual day of the wedding. Keep a copy of each checklist in your own personal planner, so that you can occasionally reference them and check to see if things are getting done. Also have additional copies available for those who might have misplaced or lost theirs.

These checklists are not meant to cover the responsibilities of the wedding party from the moment you got engaged until “I Do”. Rather, it is a specific list of items he/she is responsible for the day of the wedding. Thus, it does not need to be distributed until much closer to the wedding—about two to three weeks prior to your big day. Feel free to add more specifics where necessary. For example, if you are placing a specific responsibility on the maid of honor—such as collecting centerpieces—then provide that detail on this checklist in the space provided. With these checklists, the lines of communication can be improved greatly. Included in this packet:

1. Maid/Matron of Honor Checklist
2. Best Man Checklist
3. Bridesmaid Checklist
4. Groomsman/Usher Checklist
5. Groom Checklist
6. Bride Checklist

Bonus! Free Guide to Giving Bridesmaid/Maid of Honor Speech
This is the content of the form and is provided for your convenience. It is not necessarily what the actual form looks like and does not include the information, instructions and other materials that come with the form you would purchase. An actual sample can also be viewed by clicking on the "Sample Form" near the top left of this page.
 
 
The Wedding Day
Checklists for Everyone
 
 
 
Maid/Matron of Honor Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Toast to Bride & Groom
   Brides Bustle
   Organize Bridesmaids
Things to Remember To Bring
   Dress
   Shoes
   Hose/Stockings
   Purse [matching dress]
   Hair Pieces [tiara, matching pins/barrettes, or other coordinated items for hair]
   Jewelry approved by Bride
   Undergarments [strapless bra, girdle, etc.]
   Coat/Wrap
   Button-front shirt for make-up/hair
   Cosmetics [including, but not limited to, water-proof mascara, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, foundation, etc.]
   Perfume
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, hairbrush, comb, deodorant, tampons/pads, razor, shaving cream, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, curler, straightener, round brush, etc.]
   Additional Hair Items [barrettes, bobby pins, headbands, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
   Emergency Kit for Bride and Bridesmaids [including safety pins, double-sided tape, clear nail polish, nail polish remover, needle and thread, extra hose, club soda, cotton balls/pads, lip balm, aspirin/ibuprofen, touch up cosmetics for bride and bridesmaids, etc.]
 
 
Meeting Bride:  _____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Hair Appointment:   ________________________ [where] _____________________ [time]                      
Make-Up Appointment: ___________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Best Mans Checklist
 
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Toast to Bride & Groom
   Organize Groomsmen
   Holding of the Rings
Things to Remember To Bring
   Tuxedo/Suit
   Shirt
   Shoes/Socks
   Tie
   Vest/Cummerbund/Suspenders
   Handkerchief
   Cufflinks
   Undergarments
   Cologne
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, razor/electric shaver, shaving cream, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, brush, comb, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
Picking up Tuxedo: ___________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]__________________________ [store phone number] ____________________________ [details of reservation, including items, name under, store contact and/or manager name]
Meeting Groom:  _____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Bridesmaid Checklist
 
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Toast to Bride & Groom [coordinate w/Maid of Honor]
   Brides Bustle
Things to Remember To Bring
   Dress
   Shoes
   Hose/Stockings
   Purse [matching dress]
   Hair Pieces [tiara, matching pins/barrettes, or other coordinated items for hair]
   Jewelry approved by Bride
   Undergarments [strapless bra, girdle, etc.]
   Coat/Wrap
   Button-front shirt for make-up/hair
   Cosmetics [including, but not limited to, water-proof mascara, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, foundation, etc.]
   Perfume
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, hairbrush, comb, deodorant, tampons/pads, razor, shaving cream, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, curler, straightener, round brush, etc.]
   Additional Hair Items [barrettes, bobby pins, headbands, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
 
Meeting Bride:  _____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Hair Appointment:   ________________________ [where] _____________________ [time]                      
Make-Up Appointment: ___________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Groomsmen/Usher Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Escort Family & Guests to seats for ceremony
Things to Remember To Bring
   Tuxedo/Suit
   Shirt
   Shoes/Socks
   Tie
   Vest/Cummerbund/Suspenders
   Handkerchief
   Cufflinks
   Undergarments
   Cologne
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, razor/electric shaver, shaving cream, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, brush, comb, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
Picking up Tuxedo: __________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
__________________________ [store phone number] ____________________________ [details of reservation, including items, name under, store contact and/or manager name]
Meeting Groom:  ___________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ______________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
The Grooms Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Vows and Toasts
   Thank You to guests and parents
   Items for Ceremony [religious, family traditions, etc.]
   Rings to Best Man
Things to Remember To Bring
   Rings [to give Best Man]
   Tuxedo/Suit
   Shirt
   Shoes/Socks
   Tie
   Vest/Cummerbund/Suspenders
   Handkerchief
   Cufflinks
   Undergarments
   Cologne
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, razor/electric shaver, shaving cream, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, brush, comb, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Thank You gifts for groomsmen
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
   Packed and Prepared for Honeymoon [consult honeymoon checklist if necessary]
 
Picking up Tuxedo: ___________________________ [where] ______________________[time]
__________________________ [store phone number] ____________________________ [details of reservation, including items, name under, store contact and/or manager name]
Meeting Groom:  ____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ______________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
*Remember: This checklist is strictly for the days just prior to the actual wedding date.  Consult more detailed brides planning and timeline for expanded engagement checklist.
 
The Brides Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Vows and Toasts
   Thank You to guests and parents
   Items for Ceremony [religious, family traditions, etc.]
 
Things to Remember To Bring
   Gown
   Veil
   Shoes
   Hose/Stocking
   Garter Belt
   Wrap [in event of cold of weather]
   Purse [matching dress]
   Hair Pieces [tiara, matching pins/barrettes, or other coordinated items for hair]
   Jewelry
   Undergarments [strapless bra, girdle, etc.]
   Button-front shirt for make-up/hair
   Cosmetics [including, but not limited to, water-proof mascara, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, foundation, compacts, etc.]
   Perfume
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, hairbrush, comb, deodorant, tampons/pads, razor, shaving cream, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, curler, straightener, round brush, etc.]
   Additional Hair Items [barrettes, bobby pins, headbands, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
   Packed and Prepared for Honeymoon [consult honeymoon checklist if necessary]
   Toasting Glasses
   Cake Knife & Lifter
   Something Old
   Something New
   Something Borrowed
   Something Blue
   Penny for Your Shoe
   Marriage License
   Wedding Night Lingerie
   Thank You gifts for Wedding Partybridesmaid, parents, readers, officiants, etc.
   Throw Bouquet
   Guest Book & Pen
   Flower Girl Basket
   Ring Bearer Pillow
   Emergency Kit [usually prepared by Maid of Honor]
 
Meeting with Bridesmaids: _________________________________________ [where & when]
Hair Appointment: _______________________________________________  [where & when]
Make-Up: _______________________________________________________ [where & when]
Meeting with Photographer: _________________________________________ [where & when]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Maid of Honor/Bridesmaid Toast
 
Youre a bridesmaid.  And whats more, youre the Maid of Honor!  Which means on top of all of your other responsibilities, you have to give a great toast in front of EVERYONE at the wedding reception.  And because we live in such a high-tech era, your speech may be seen and heard anywhere from one to one thousand times, by as many or more people.   You want it to be great--or at least, not embarrassing.  Here are a few to ensure a smooth and memorable toast:
1] The Golden Rule, just 5 little words: BE BRIEF SISTER, BE BRIEF.  Seriously, this is a situation where too much is NOT good.  You dont want to shortchange your bride, but no one wants to listen to 20 minutes of inside jokes and weepy memories, not even the bride.  Save the long rambles for the bridal showers, luncheons or the drunken bachelorette party nights.  For public consumption, your speech should target the 5 minute mark.  Which leads us to point number 2
 
2] PRACTICE.  If you want to give a good speech, you need to put it together sometime BEFORE they pass you the microphone.  Five minutes can encapsulate more than you think, if you have it thought out before.  And always try at least one run through out loudeither alone in your car or in front of a supportive [but honest] other.  We suggest writing it downbut if this makes you too nervous, than make sure you have enough familiarity with the themes of your speech that you can easily glide from topic to topic.
 
3] THEMES.  Which leads us to themesit is often easier to get the most with the least mess if  you mentally divided it into themes.  This is NOT for public consumptionfor example, do not start your speech by saying, “Section 1-Our Childhood”.  Rather, for the sake of your own sanity, pick a couple of general themes you want to hit to help you both draft and remember your speech.  Here are a few examples of themes that can be incorporated into your speech: Introduction, Childhood Memories, A Favorite Memory of the Bride, Entry of the Groom, A Favorite Memory of Happy Couple, the Proposal, The Engagement/Preparation for Marriage, Best Wishes for the Happy Couple.  For example, you could pick three themes-- [1] A Favorite Memory, [2] Entry of the Groom, and [3] Best Wishes, and use them as guideposts for your short and sweet speech.  
 
4] LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.  Please do not forget that you are giving a speech not just for the bride or your group of girlfriends, but for the parents to remember, the grandparents to tear up over, and to give everyone watching a small taste of your class and style.  Here a few of the more obvious DO NOT INCLUDE points:
   DO NOT, under any circumstances, bring up sex, past, present or future;  
   DO NOT bring up ex-boyfriends of the bride or ex-girlfriends of the Groom, even if you fall into one of those two categories;
   DO NOT discuss dirty underwear [yours or the brides], the brides many flaws, the groomsmens behavior, or questionable antics of members of the wedding couples family;  
   DO NOT recount inside jokes or other references that exclude 90% of the reception crowdor make sure you explain enough to let everyone in on the joke;
   DO NOT talk about how no one in the family has ever been divorced or how long every other couple has made it, no matter how proud you are of the recordnot only is this taking the attention off the bride and groom, it is asking for future karmic trouble.
   Okay, this should go without saying, but Ill say it anyway, DO NOT USE OBSCENITIES in your speech.  Even if you think its hilarious and the crowd is savvy, its still a no-no [unless your name is Eddie Murphy or Sandra Bernhard, this is non-negotiable].
 
In summation, the rule here is IF IN DOUBT, LEAVE IT OUT.  
5] GRACE AND POISE.   It is still important to try and maintain some semblance of decorum and respect.  We are not saying you should look contrived or depressed as you give your speech.  Just try to remember that, for that moment, the focus is on you and you dont want to be remembered as the girl who hunched into a hermit, nervously horse laughed her way through the speech, or was wandering around the head table with her back to the crowd.  To that end, pick a spot that gives you an unobstructed view of the bride and groom, preferably close to them both, that also allows you to look at the crowd occasionally.  Leave behind everything but your notes and the microphonedont try to hold your purse or a drink.  Either have your champagne glass ready and filled on a table near you or have a friend assigned to hand it to you at the appropriate moment.  Hold the microphone tightly, and try not to swing it around as you talk.  Smile as you talk.   Make a point to look the couple in the eyes, even if this chokes you up a bit.  Tears are okay in a speech.  If it makes you laugh a little, thats okay too.  
6]  KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS.  In other words, know your weaknesses.  If you are not funny, dont try to be.  Unfunny jokes are painful for everyone.  If you are not an orator, dont feel the need to spread profound and deep thoughts.  Nothing kills a party like a preachy and pompous speech.  And unless you have just been nominated for a Grammy, please oh please do not consider singing for the couple unless they specifically request a performance.  That goes double for dancing, juggling, tap, or any other performance art.  Just remember to be yourself, take a deep breath, and smile for the crowd.
 
7] DONT FORGET.  Before you get working on the multitude of bridesmaid tasks, a couple of reminders for the content of your toast.  One, unless you know that every single person in the room knows who you are, introduce yourself briefly.  Two, make sure you include both of the newlyweds in the speech somewhere.   And this goes even if you dont like him/herjust try to find something honest to say that is still nice [for example, you think the groom lazy and living off your friend, but she is thrilledso you say, “he makes her so happywhich is true even if you cant understand what she sees in him].  Its always nice to discuss the things you love about your friend, even if you havent seen any of those nice traits for the 6 to 12 months of wedding planning.  And last, you should always end by having everyone raise their glass and send their best wishes for the happy couple.
That wraps up the toast section of the eveningat least for you.  No matter how nervous you are, the best thing about the speech is that it heralds the end of your official duties as a bridesmaid.  You may still have some clean-up and smaller tasks assigned to you, but the worst and best will be behind you and you can party for the rest of the day and/or night.  Good luck!
 
 
Number of Pages14
DimensionsDesigned for Letter Size (8.5" x 11")
EditableYes (.doc, .wpd and .rtf)
UsageUnlimited number of prints
Product number#32340
This is the content of the form and is provided for your convenience. It is not necessarily what the actual form looks like and does not include the information, instructions and other materials that come with the form you would purchase. An actual sample can also be viewed by clicking on the "Sample Form" near the top left of this page.
 
 
The Wedding Day
Checklists for Everyone
 
 
 
Maid/Matron of Honor Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Toast to Bride & Groom
   Brides Bustle
   Organize Bridesmaids
Things to Remember To Bring
   Dress
   Shoes
   Hose/Stockings
   Purse [matching dress]
   Hair Pieces [tiara, matching pins/barrettes, or other coordinated items for hair]
   Jewelry approved by Bride
   Undergarments [strapless bra, girdle, etc.]
   Coat/Wrap
   Button-front shirt for make-up/hair
   Cosmetics [including, but not limited to, water-proof mascara, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, foundation, etc.]
   Perfume
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, hairbrush, comb, deodorant, tampons/pads, razor, shaving cream, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, curler, straightener, round brush, etc.]
   Additional Hair Items [barrettes, bobby pins, headbands, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
   Emergency Kit for Bride and Bridesmaids [including safety pins, double-sided tape, clear nail polish, nail polish remover, needle and thread, extra hose, club soda, cotton balls/pads, lip balm, aspirin/ibuprofen, touch up cosmetics for bride and bridesmaids, etc.]
 
 
Meeting Bride:  _____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Hair Appointment:   ________________________ [where] _____________________ [time]                      
Make-Up Appointment: ___________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Best Mans Checklist
 
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Toast to Bride & Groom
   Organize Groomsmen
   Holding of the Rings
Things to Remember To Bring
   Tuxedo/Suit
   Shirt
   Shoes/Socks
   Tie
   Vest/Cummerbund/Suspenders
   Handkerchief
   Cufflinks
   Undergarments
   Cologne
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, razor/electric shaver, shaving cream, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, brush, comb, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
Picking up Tuxedo: ___________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]__________________________ [store phone number] ____________________________ [details of reservation, including items, name under, store contact and/or manager name]
Meeting Groom:  _____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Bridesmaid Checklist
 
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Toast to Bride & Groom [coordinate w/Maid of Honor]
   Brides Bustle
Things to Remember To Bring
   Dress
   Shoes
   Hose/Stockings
   Purse [matching dress]
   Hair Pieces [tiara, matching pins/barrettes, or other coordinated items for hair]
   Jewelry approved by Bride
   Undergarments [strapless bra, girdle, etc.]
   Coat/Wrap
   Button-front shirt for make-up/hair
   Cosmetics [including, but not limited to, water-proof mascara, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, foundation, etc.]
   Perfume
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, hairbrush, comb, deodorant, tampons/pads, razor, shaving cream, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, curler, straightener, round brush, etc.]
   Additional Hair Items [barrettes, bobby pins, headbands, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
 
Meeting Bride:  _____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Hair Appointment:   ________________________ [where] _____________________ [time]                      
Make-Up Appointment: ___________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ________________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Groomsmen/Usher Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Escort Family & Guests to seats for ceremony
Things to Remember To Bring
   Tuxedo/Suit
   Shirt
   Shoes/Socks
   Tie
   Vest/Cummerbund/Suspenders
   Handkerchief
   Cufflinks
   Undergarments
   Cologne
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, razor/electric shaver, shaving cream, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, brush, comb, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
Picking up Tuxedo: __________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
__________________________ [store phone number] ____________________________ [details of reservation, including items, name under, store contact and/or manager name]
Meeting Groom:  ___________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ______________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
The Grooms Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Vows and Toasts
   Thank You to guests and parents
   Items for Ceremony [religious, family traditions, etc.]
   Rings to Best Man
Things to Remember To Bring
   Rings [to give Best Man]
   Tuxedo/Suit
   Shirt
   Shoes/Socks
   Tie
   Vest/Cummerbund/Suspenders
   Handkerchief
   Cufflinks
   Undergarments
   Cologne
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, razor/electric shaver, shaving cream, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, deodorant, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, brush, comb, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Thank You gifts for groomsmen
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
   Packed and Prepared for Honeymoon [consult honeymoon checklist if necessary]
 
Picking up Tuxedo: ___________________________ [where] ______________________[time]
__________________________ [store phone number] ____________________________ [details of reservation, including items, name under, store contact and/or manager name]
Meeting Groom:  ____________________________ [where] _______________________ [time]
Meeting with Photographer: ______________________ [where] ____________________ [time]
 
Additional Comments: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
*Remember: This checklist is strictly for the days just prior to the actual wedding date.  Consult more detailed brides planning and timeline for expanded engagement checklist.
 
The Brides Checklist
Specific Duties at Wedding
   Vows and Toasts
   Thank You to guests and parents
   Items for Ceremony [religious, family traditions, etc.]
 
Things to Remember To Bring
   Gown
   Veil
   Shoes
   Hose/Stocking
   Garter Belt
   Wrap [in event of cold of weather]
   Purse [matching dress]
   Hair Pieces [tiara, matching pins/barrettes, or other coordinated items for hair]
   Jewelry
   Undergarments [strapless bra, girdle, etc.]
   Button-front shirt for make-up/hair
   Cosmetics [including, but not limited to, water-proof mascara, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, foundation, compacts, etc.]
   Perfume
   Toiletries [including, but not limited to, toothpaste/toothbrush, shampoo/conditioner, hairbrush, comb, deodorant, tampons/pads, razor, shaving cream, etc.]
   Medications [prescription, over-the-counter, etc.]
   Hair Products
   Hair Care Items [hairdryer, curler, straightener, round brush, etc.]
   Additional Hair Items [barrettes, bobby pins, headbands, etc.]
   Extra Contact Lenses
   Money/Credit Cards/I.D./Drivers License
   Camera/Film
   Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner & Morning After Wedding
   Packed and Prepared for Honeymoon [consult honeymoon checklist if necessary]
   Toasting Glasses
   Cake Knife & Lifter
   Something Old
   Something New
   Something Borrowed
   Something Blue
   Penny for Your Shoe
   Marriage License
   Wedding Night Lingerie
   Thank You gifts for Wedding Partybridesmaid, parents, readers, officiants, etc.
   Throw Bouquet
   Guest Book & Pen
   Flower Girl Basket
   Ring Bearer Pillow
   Emergency Kit [usually prepared by Maid of Honor]
 
Meeting with Bridesmaids: _________________________________________ [where & when]
Hair Appointment: _______________________________________________  [where & when]
Make-Up: _______________________________________________________ [where & when]
Meeting with Photographer: _________________________________________ [where & when]
 
Additional Comments: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Maid of Honor/Bridesmaid Toast
 
Youre a bridesmaid.  And whats more, youre the Maid of Honor!  Which means on top of all of your other responsibilities, you have to give a great toast in front of EVERYONE at the wedding reception.  And because we live in such a high-tech era, your speech may be seen and heard anywhere from one to one thousand times, by as many or more people.   You want it to be great--or at least, not embarrassing.  Here are a few to ensure a smooth and memorable toast:
1] The Golden Rule, just 5 little words: BE BRIEF SISTER, BE BRIEF.  Seriously, this is a situation where too much is NOT good.  You dont want to shortchange your bride, but no one wants to listen to 20 minutes of inside jokes and weepy memories, not even the bride.  Save the long rambles for the bridal showers, luncheons or the drunken bachelorette party nights.  For public consumption, your speech should target the 5 minute mark.  Which leads us to point number 2
 
2] PRACTICE.  If you want to give a good speech, you need to put it together sometime BEFORE they pass you the microphone.  Five minutes can encapsulate more than you think, if you have it thought out before.  And always try at least one run through out loudeither alone in your car or in front of a supportive [but honest] other.  We suggest writing it downbut if this makes you too nervous, than make sure you have enough familiarity with the themes of your speech that you can easily glide from topic to topic.
 
3] THEMES.  Which leads us to themesit is often easier to get the most with the least mess if  you mentally divided it into themes.  This is NOT for public consumptionfor example, do not start your speech by saying, “Section 1-Our Childhood”.  Rather, for the sake of your own sanity, pick a couple of general themes you want to hit to help you both draft and remember your speech.  Here are a few examples of themes that can be incorporated into your speech: Introduction, Childhood Memories, A Favorite Memory of the Bride, Entry of the Groom, A Favorite Memory of Happy Couple, the Proposal, The Engagement/Preparation for Marriage, Best Wishes for the Happy Couple.  For example, you could pick three themes-- [1] A Favorite Memory, [2] Entry of the Groom, and [3] Best Wishes, and use them as guideposts for your short and sweet speech.  
 
4] LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.  Please do not forget that you are giving a speech not just for the bride or your group of girlfriends, but for the parents to remember, the grandparents to tear up over, and to give everyone watching a small taste of your class and style.  Here a few of the more obvious DO NOT INCLUDE points:
   DO NOT, under any circumstances, bring up sex, past, present or future;  
   DO NOT bring up ex-boyfriends of the bride or ex-girlfriends of the Groom, even if you fall into one of those two categories;
   DO NOT discuss dirty underwear [yours or the brides], the brides many flaws, the groomsmens behavior, or questionable antics of members of the wedding couples family;  
   DO NOT recount inside jokes or other references that exclude 90% of the reception crowdor make sure you explain enough to let everyone in on the joke;
   DO NOT talk about how no one in the family has ever been divorced or how long every other couple has made it, no matter how proud you are of the recordnot only is this taking the attention off the bride and groom, it is asking for future karmic trouble.
   Okay, this should go without saying, but Ill say it anyway, DO NOT USE OBSCENITIES in your speech.  Even if you think its hilarious and the crowd is savvy, its still a no-no [unless your name is Eddie Murphy or Sandra Bernhard, this is non-negotiable].
 
In summation, the rule here is IF IN DOUBT, LEAVE IT OUT.  
5] GRACE AND POISE.   It is still important to try and maintain some semblance of decorum and respect.  We are not saying you should look contrived or depressed as you give your speech.  Just try to remember that, for that moment, the focus is on you and you dont want to be remembered as the girl who hunched into a hermit, nervously horse laughed her way through the speech, or was wandering around the head table with her back to the crowd.  To that end, pick a spot that gives you an unobstructed view of the bride and groom, preferably close to them both, that also allows you to look at the crowd occasionally.  Leave behind everything but your notes and the microphonedont try to hold your purse or a drink.  Either have your champagne glass ready and filled on a table near you or have a friend assigned to hand it to you at the appropriate moment.  Hold the microphone tightly, and try not to swing it around as you talk.  Smile as you talk.   Make a point to look the couple in the eyes, even if this chokes you up a bit.  Tears are okay in a speech.  If it makes you laugh a little, thats okay too.  
6]  KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS.  In other words, know your weaknesses.  If you are not funny, dont try to be.  Unfunny jokes are painful for everyone.  If you are not an orator, dont feel the need to spread profound and deep thoughts.  Nothing kills a party like a preachy and pompous speech.  And unless you have just been nominated for a Grammy, please oh please do not consider singing for the couple unless they specifically request a performance.  That goes double for dancing, juggling, tap, or any other performance art.  Just remember to be yourself, take a deep breath, and smile for the crowd.
 
7] DONT FORGET.  Before you get working on the multitude of bridesmaid tasks, a couple of reminders for the content of your toast.  One, unless you know that every single person in the room knows who you are, introduce yourself briefly.  Two, make sure you include both of the newlyweds in the speech somewhere.   And this goes even if you dont like him/herjust try to find something honest to say that is still nice [for example, you think the groom lazy and living off your friend, but she is thrilledso you say, “he makes her so happywhich is true even if you cant understand what she sees in him].  Its always nice to discuss the things you love about your friend, even if you havent seen any of those nice traits for the 6 to 12 months of wedding planning.  And last, you should always end by having everyone raise their glass and send their best wishes for the happy couple.
That wraps up the toast section of the eveningat least for you.  No matter how nervous you are, the best thing about the speech is that it heralds the end of your official duties as a bridesmaid.  You may still have some clean-up and smaller tasks assigned to you, but the worst and best will be behind you and you can party for the rest of the day and/or night.  Good luck!
 
 

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